Letter 015 - Tactics: Getting Rid of Your Phone on Nights & Weekends
One tactic for energy management
Tl;dr — Once you get beyond the initial discomfort of not being connected, there is great value to be found in disconnecting from your phone on nights and weekends. I recognize this may seem impossible for some. For me, it has been one of the most critical enablers of my rejuvenation —> ability to live in the present & show up with energy at work.
(and yes, there are times when one can’t do this…when you need to work on weekends, nights, etc. I get that. I do it sometimes, but challenge yourself here:
should your default be always-on connectivity?
I asked myself this question a long time ago after realizing that after very long days at work, I would sit on my phone for hours scrolling Instagram, LinkedIn, Reddit, and (insert your go-to platforms). Then, on the weekends, I would end up doing the same thing, Friday, Saturday, Sunday…
Sometimes I would look up and ask, “where the hell did the last two hours go” or “why do I suddenly feel like shit?” I felt stressed enough already; my electronics shouldn’t be making that worse. I finally decided to make a change when my habit of scrolling social media / news at night started messing up my sleep quality. After weeks of sub-optimal sleep, I started experimenting with a variety of small changes, which I’ll outline below.
Here’s how I try to practice healthy habits around electronics + here’s how I manage expectations with anyone needing to get in contact.
I delete any work related applications from my phone on weekends
At night or on weekends, I physically put my phone in a drawer on silent. And if I’m out and about, I will typically put it somewhere that I cannot see it
When my fiance is willing to do so, I’ll actually leave my phone off / at home just in case someone needs to get in touch with us for an emergency
My work teams know that I will not respond to their pings / emails after a certain point, and to text me if it’s truly an emergency
I only spend 30 minutes on social media week max.
Yes, this is tough because I feel disconnected from so much of what is happening in my friends’ lives sometimes. But I’ve embraced 1-1 communication via text / phone as a way to have quality catch-ups
Like Tim Ferris, I limit news intake. I strive to be informed on key world events, and I certainly pick times to dive very deep into a topic, but I am not one to spend hours reading the news
I am oftentimes slow to respond. If we speak regularly, you’ve undoubtedly experienced me taking days to respond (shit I know I have at least a few messages from the last 3 days that I’m behind on). My close friends know that this is not me intentionally snubbing them; it’s me managing energy…not feeling like I’m in control by my phone. I respond to messages when I have the time to do so intentionally OR I will be direct and say something like, “FYI saw this. Super in the zone today at work! Will respond ASAP”
I have found that people tend to really respect this as long as you take extra micro-seconds to be warmer / more kind than you think is necessary via text (where it’s very hard to discern tone)
I try to redirect my nervous “i’m not connected” energy to things like reading, playing games, physical fitness, exploring the city / world and trying to relish whatever I’m doing right now. A favorite reminder I have for myself is to say, “Look Up” — and I will physically look up around me, noticing what’s happening in the environment around me, and finding peace and/or intellectual stimulation in observation
A reminder: “tactics” don’t work the same for everyone. What I do likely wouldn’t work very well for many folks reading this, but I have lately been encountering more people who have some of the same habits as I do, and they also seem to be getting great value from them.