#72 - Drowning in the Tragedy of the Kitchen Sink
Let it breathe, let it breathe
#71 Learning to Unlearn was the last letter. Here’s an actual example of me unlearning something. That thing? Unleashing the kitchen sink in response to a question.
I’ve had this not-great habit for a long-time of sometimes over-explaining things. It probably comes from a sense of feeling that the person on the other ends of my word must understand what I am saying. If they don’t understand what I’m saying, then I’ve failed to communicate. And that feels shitty. Few things are more unpleasant than someone saying, “I don’t get it” after you’ve just explained something to them.
For a while, I generally got away with doing this, but recently — as I’ve been unlearning some sub-optimal habits, I realized that there is something sad about throwing the kitchen sink at someone in response to every question.
If you ask me, “Michael, why should I listen to Nine Inch Nails?” (one of my favorite artists), I have two ways to respond.
Approach 1: Kitchen Sinky — “NIN oozes angst. The production is badass. Trent’s vocals are iconic. Their catalogue is extensive and just plain rocks. You should check out their album With Teeth as a good entry point before you go into the deeper stuff like The Downward Spiral. This one time, I actually met Trent Reznor, and it changed my life. This is a life-changing artist for many people. (by this point you’re not listening anymore)”
Approach 2: Pithy & Powerful — “If you love electronic music infused with a backbone of ambient rock n’ roll, listen to Nine Inch Nails”
Approach 1 took 71 characters. Approach 2 is 19. In other words, the first approach is 3.7x longer. Brevity isn’t always the answer, but if you’re optimizing for someone else understanding / remembering your words, Approach 2 is — all else equal — going to be more effective.
There are times when the kitchen sink is warranted, but imagine if you asked me 10 questions and I gave you Approach 1 every time? Maybe that’s totally fine. But maybe you’re doing Approach 1 when it’s one of the most important meetings of your life. Maybe you’re doing it when you’re trying to close a new customer, or maybe you’re doing it when you’re trying to turn a No into a Yes at work.
The problem with always throwing the kitchen sink is that it tends to water down the power of your words immensely. Let’s look at Approach 1 again, but let’s turn it into a more Pithy & Powerful answer:
“Nine Inch Nails oozes angst.”
That one line breathes. It has space. There’s nothing else competing for your attention. Is it comprehensive? No. But you’re allowing 100% of the attention to be focused on one sentence with two powerful words: oozes and angst. And you are giving the other person the time and space to construct their own reality around what this statement actually means. As they consider this statement, they’re playing with it…exploring it, and this consideration is the beginning of understanding. Generally, humans aren’t great at balancing more than three concepts in their brain at once. Giving them one concept is a recipe to increase the odds that they remember what you’ve said.
Two people in my life recently have helped me re-learn and re-appreciate the power of being concise. Here’s the feedback they gave me:
Person 1: “I get the sense you’re a kitchen sink guy. You’ve got a lot to say, and it’s good, but I worry that you’re throwing the kitchen sink at every question.”
Then about a month later, another advisor / backer of mine said this after assessing how I was responding to some questions.
Person 2: “Michael, I think my feedback will generally come down to one thing. You have three answers for everything…. You need one.”
Why does this matter? Is this overkill? In some contexts, thinking like this is overkill. If you want to monologue for 5 minutes and the people around you seem game for that, then do it. But there are times when you don’t have the luxury of five minutes and a lot of patience. There are times when you only have 30 seconds (max) to communicate an idea, and if you don’t do it effectively, you lose.
I’ll continue to explore this idea in future letters, because it’s something I continue to work on every day. I still find myself providing the kitchen sink sometimes (and again…sometimes it is perfectly acceptable), but I’m working on doing this less… On being more thoughtful about the places where I give three answers instead of one.
And if you’re a fellow founder / product designer reading this, a friendly reminder to give your most powerful ideas space to breathe. When you hone in on the the most powerful part of whatever it is you are building… let it breathe…let it breathe… (lest you suffocate the ideas by packing it into a clown-car of other ideas). Less is more. Simple products and simple value props > complex products and muddled value props.